Be Prepared

This morning, I was unprepared. I didn't know where all my clothes were, I didn't know where my shoes were, I didn't have my breakfast and lunch ready to go. Fortunately I had a free coffee waiting for me at Java Go Go or the morning would have been a wash.


So after I got to work, I sent the HR person at the new job a list of questions. All of which and more, I'm sure, will be answered on my first day next week--but I wanted to be prepared.


I remember learning that as the Boy Scout motto and finding it humorous. I found the Boy Scouts laughable anyway--the sketches depicting them were a far cry from the disheveled Cub Scouts at my grade school--and I couldn't imagine what on earth a small-town boy in the early 80s might need to be prepared for. A spelling test? An annual t.v. airing of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"?


The motto is much better suited for a middle-aged, suburban, working mother of two on a tight budget. I don't like surprises.


This is my last day at this job working with the main crew. After getting the sad clown face and plea to "just take one whole day off" from Bob, I decided to use my remaining vacation/sick time and take tomorrow off. It's Bob's last winter break day at our house, and it occurred to me last night--I haven't spent one day of his break just hanging out at home with him. He's been home Xmas Eve (half of which was spent traveling), Saturday night and Sunday (spent entertaining the stupid inlaws), and yesterday, today and tomorrow. So dammit, yes, Bob, I can take one whole day off, and I will.


It's not like I'm really doing anything anyway. Ben bought a webcam last night with his Xmas Cash, and I've spent most of the morning watching the three of them do very little. They just left to get lunch, so now I'm watching the cats do very little.

********

I got a return email from HR at the new job, and now I'm suffering severe Buyer's Remorse. They pay bi-weekly, which of course means two "extra" paychecks per year, but the 24 checks you actually count on to pay your bills are for substantially less. And the time off system is, if I'm understanding it right and it's being presented to me correctly, absurd--30 hours after your first 90 days, then 80 hours per year as of 1/1.

Say what?

If this is accurate, it means I will have no time off until April. And then I'll have less than 4 days between April and January. I have two children. How the fuck am I supposed to get by on 4 days off in 8 months?

I suppose taking time off without pay is probably an option--but at the hit I'm taking on salary, I can't afford to take a day off without pay. I suppose I can always rely on my husband's ability to telecommute and seemingly unlimited supply of time off, but dammit, there are times (when my kids are sick or when Bob is home on a break) when I want to be the one stuck at home with them. Not to mention I would like an occasional day off to myself, or (heaven forbid) I might get sick enough to warrant staying home once or twice a year.

I suppose it will all be worth it if the job is satisfying and the work environment is pleasant. But I don't know yet that it is. For all I know, it's another legal industry sweatshop that expects blood, sweat and tears in exchange for bread, water and misery.

Christ, I sure as hell hope not.

Now I need to try to put it out of my mind and stop obsessing. I've gone over our budget with a fine-toothed comb, but the reality is, one can only predict things to such a degree of accuracy. After that, it's anyone's guess, and you won't know the outcome til you get there. I just hate the uncertainty of it all. I'm not the gambling kind.